Titles, like men, are overrated

I was straining my exhausted neurons as to what to write about in my own section and then, a short phone call later, it came to me: "MEN",men and their excuses, men and their <true> thoughts and, basically, men and their bullshit! After all, what greater entertainment could be had than poking fun at the strongest sex?
It will probably encompass all sorts of things regarding this nerve-wrecking species, so don't expect me to have a certain pattern, 'cause I won't! This is supposed to be fun and enlightening at the same time (may God help us all...), so let's just see what it all amounts to as we progress.

After spending almost an entire decade with one man in particular, you arrive (sorta...) to the undeniable truth that as much as you love the mofo, he does have some nasty habits and annoying traits you just wish he didn't! I'm not saying I'm some femme fatale expert in the XY ranks, far from it, but I'm rather accustomed to some characteristics that are common to all men and this is what I want to talk about.

Being my first post in this section, I thought men and their excuses would be something fun to ponder on. I'd be more than pleased to see some of your personal contributions and opinions, so feel free to comment. Now, let's get to it! :)

1. One of the most common lines that I hear so darn often it hurts is related to why men ALWAYS avoid doing something they should, such as :
"I was about to call you, but you called first!" or "I didn't want to wake you up or bother you, that's why I didn't call you!" Sure...that explains the almost 24 hour wait and the general reasoning that females might actually have their own things to do and are probably not sleeping like a log at 5 in the afternoon, but who expects logic to be part of the equation, right?!

2. The second most frequent issue is "manifesting affection" towards their partner. Men seem to be like the weather; for them it never rains, it simply pours! If they're not some possessive, control-freaks that trust that the sole purpose of women is to abide by their every rule,  then they're probably more prone to forget you even exist after the first few years of your relationship and expect you to bring all the adventure there is to be had into the relationship...There is no in-between! And if there is, ladies, he's either cheating or he's been a gay in hiding all along!
As Pablo Francisco rightly puts it: "NO! We're not over! I love you! The bands gonna make it!"

3. I like to call this "My way or the highway!". I'm generally speaking of what normal people like to call COMPROMISE. Men like to think that they sacrifice a lot for the women they are with, but do they really? One of the "perfect" excuses as to why they do not want to compromise is that "may be, I don't expect so much from you, so that's why you don't have to do something for me in return!" Sure...and my secret wish is to be a Vegas stripper with an academic diploma...NOT! Have you men ever wondered as to whether not doing something might sometimes be as wrong, if not worse, than actually doing something?! Of course not! So, then, how can you compare the two? Well, simply because you (think that you) can! Yes, yes, that seems reasonable now, doesn't it?!

4. Expecting the woman to "do the doing" is another thing that adds to their constant excuses in a relationship, because "a man doesn't act if the woman does not entice first"...Why, what unfailing logic, dear sirs! Of course we shouldn't expect sudden romantic events or gestures of undying love UNLESS in answer to us tying fat, red ribbons onto our necks and wearing rabbit ears, flimsy underwear and leather whips to make you think of one of your pornish game characters.

Of course the list is incomplete and would most likely turn into a thesis if I were to continue, so for the time being I shall leave it at that, considering these as the most frequent excuses men often make...and if any untruth has been noted may I be struck...Oh, bollocks...never mind! My thanks for your time!

Up yours,
sweetheart J. :)